I was listening to one of my sisters-in-Christ on Periscope Pastor Rochelle White (yes, please go follow her, she is the triple truth) and she spoke of how her sister Rev. Talisha Belk (yes, please follow her also, I call her the Mary J. Blige of the women’s ministry) told her at the TOP of the year that 2015 was the year of the DREAMER! Now, I don’t know about you but I have been living my life this year with expectancy that God will blow my mind in ways that I could not even fathom. And even though we only have 44 days until 2016, I know for sure that God’s time is infinite.
Because I like to coin myself as Transparent Trudy, I can say that I did not always have that expectancy nor was I intentional about protecting my dreams. See, there was a time in my life where I leaned to my own understanding about what my life should look and feel like. I made decisions that yielded bad consequences, I chose people who were no good for me and I suffered. Why? Because I did not protect the dream that God gave me long ago while I was sitting on a bus skipping school with one of my best friend’s (check out her blog A Real Housewife by Q.Jackson, yes I show no shame when it comes to supporting my friends). God told me that all of the mistakes, mishaps and skipping school would push us to go back to that very same school and talk to girls about what NOT to do. This was given to me at the age of 16.
But I did not protect the dream. I allowed the voices and choices of myself and others to dictate my dream trajectory. I did not protect the dream. Or was it that I did not accept the dream? Did I think that I had done too much, fell off too far and was not worthy of the dream on a large scale. Yes, I could offer guidance, words of encouragement and informal mentorship to others but did I really understand these were all things leading up to the dream? Or was I just living life, not being intentional or strategic about my dreams?
Let me show you how careless I was about my dreams. My second husband was a piece of work honey, ok. And I am not just saying that because we are divorced. He was the epitome of being a Unicorn (if you want to know what that is click the link, it will bless you and make you laugh). He was a thief. He stole my dreams.
I have been journaling since elementary school. I kept a diary, journal or dream book beside my bed for as long as I can remember. Well, Mr. Snoopy decided to go through my things and read my journals and within the blink of an eye the dreams from the past 2-3 years of my life were GONE. SEE YA LATER. BYE. ADIOS. GONE. He tore the book to shreds. I had full workshops, seminars, summer programs for girls and outlines for books in that journal. They were now gone. Why? Because I didn’t protect the dream from the dream theft. But guess whose fault it was? Mine. I did not protect the dream because as crazy as he was I chose him.
Oh, but this is what I LOVE about the God I serve. I was told by my old pastor Gregory Cannon that you cannot out dream God. When I finally let that marinate in my spirit and accepted it as fact, that’s where the abundance of the God-given dream began to manifest again in my life. No longer would I allow any person, place or thing to rob me of my joy or my dreams. No longer would I be held captive by my past, hide in my present or be scared of my future. I now understand that THIS DREAM, at THIS TIME has to be protected. BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
And this is why I love this song. Dream on Dreamer!