You Are Going To Make Some Folks Uncomfortable…Deal With It!

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“Sometimes life seems uncomfortable and that’s actually when life starts.”
M.H. Rakib

Since the last time I blogged many things in my life have changed. My visions have increased, my network has expanded, one child has left the nest and another is on his way to flying out next year. I’ve shared my journey via speaking engagements with more people and I have created more live events for my online community The Dreamers Circle. My ex-husband and I have become better parents and friends and some friends have now become strangers. I resigned from my job to work 40+hours a week for myself and decided that I needed to live instead of exist by investing my time and energy into my own business Youth Vision Runners.

It’s suffice to say that many of these decisions made me and the people around me very uncomfortable. I will even go out on a limb like Teena Marie and say some folks think I am foolish or crazy for doing half of the things listed above. They cannot understand how this reformed professional high school skipper now Master College Prep Coach,  who was once a teenage mama, with 3 children, 2 divorces, 2 college degrees and a whole lot of resolved and unresolved baggage can be so comfortable with change and challenge.

Here is my message to all of you: Life is full of highs and lows. Life is full of people who get it and those that don’t. If you go through life trying to stay in the box that society has so pleasantly put you in eventually you out grow the box. If you continue to live by fictitious mind bondage and the narrative created you will never be comfortable. It is only by stretching, bending, and contorting your ENTIRE life that the discomfort eventually becomes comfort. When you have had as many JUMP moments as I’ve encountered you welcome the newness of the unknown.

So the next time you decide to judge or question someone else’s newness ask yourself this one question “when was the last time I added some newness and unconformability to my life?” If you can’t remember, shut your pie hole and go find you some.

I’m BAAAAACCCCKKKKK somebody cue the Tootsee Roll Music!

Super Freak. Not the One Rick James Is Singing About: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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I just read a quote that stated “Stuff happens everyday to everyone. The difference is how people deal with it.” Being proactive towards life instead of reactive is a sign of maturity and growth. There was a time in my life when I was the “Super Freak… the Super Control Freak that is”. I wanted to control everything and everyone in it. If it/they were broken I wanted to fix’em. My life at one point was a never ending episode of unnamed-1

I had some serious Janet Jackson-like control issues. giphy

Being a control freak causes anxiety. It drove me, my children and my  significant other crazy and eventually I got on my own nerves. Being a control freak does not allow you the ability to live in the moment and enjoy life. It stifles your creativity as well as the creativity of those around you. Now let’s be clear. I was not a Mommy Dearest, no wire hangers, scrub the floors Christina (can you tell it’s one of my favorite movies though?) type of control freak. I was more of a subtle my idea or my way of doing things is probably better type of control freak.

Control freaks also have a knack for being very persuasive. And a great control freak has the ability to be downright manipulative, but in a very non-threatening manner. Am I driving down your lane yet?

Many things have happened in my life that altered my relationship with control:

  • Being a mom (X3)
  • Divorce
  • Death
  • My son living with his dad full-time
  • Illness (mental, physical, spiritual)
  • Disappointment
  • Loss of friendships/relationships
  • Financial instability
  • Having a piss poor prayer life
  • Hell, just life in general

So, how did I release my inner Super Control Freak? I gained a deeper understanding of the God I serve. We know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. I love God. I know that I am called by Him. And I walk in the purpose He gave me. Then I also know that ALL things (the good, bad, ugly and indifferent) work together.

So now I do more chilling and less controlling. I know who holds the future.

Yep, Jesus can even save the Super Freak. And not just the one Rick James is talking about!

Young, Dumb and In Love: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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This Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed is dedicated to the 15 year old teenage girl in all of us. To the girl who skipped school to hang out at house parties. The girl who gave away her most precious gift too early. To the hard headed “show me” girl who didn’t listen to sound counsel. To the girl who thought she was living fearlessly, but was really bound by the shackles of peer pressure.

This Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed is dedicated to the 20 year old young woman in all of us. To the young woman who loved hard, strong and wrong. The young woman who made bad choices (partying all weekend and calling in Monday morning), loved bad boys(your neighborhood pharmacist) and drank bad liquor (mixing light and dark should be against the law). To the young lady who unknowingly was bound by soul ties.

This Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed is dedicated to the 30 year old grown woman in all of us.  To the grown woman who bore children for unrequited love. The grown woman who spent more than she saved. To the grown woman who put off today her dreams for a better tomorrow. The grown woman who didn’t quite follow the path most traveled.

This Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed is dedicated to the 40 year old seasoned diva. The seasoned diva who has forgiven herself and her decisions. To the seasoned diva who walks in her purpose, pursues her passions and does it unapologetically. To the seasoned diva who can enjoy her own company just as much as she enjoys the company of a soul mate. The seasoned diva who shares her past, is honest about her present and is pressing towards the future. To the seasoned diva who is embracing the unknown, searching for answers from the manufacturer of her heart and committing herself to being the best version of who she is destined to be.

This Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed is dedicated to ME! I am her. She is me. As I look at her, face to face, chin up, and head held high, I honor her. Flaws and all. I cherish her in all of her perfectly imperfect ways. I listen to her as to not learn the same lessons over and over again. But most of all, I LOVE her. It is because of her that I am me….and really that’s certainly alright with me.