Change Your Narrative w/LeTonya Moore: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

LeTonya Moore

What happens to the girl who grew up with conditional love? Love is bound to be confusing in a family where love is more of a noun than a verb. True love in its purest form is more about action and less about words. The narrative of LeTonya Moore is one of redefining love and knowing that who you bring to the table of love is ENOUGH. LeTonya grew up in Huntsville, Alabama and currently resides in Atlanta, Georgia. She is the owner of Opulence TV, a platform for independent artists, entertainers, filmmakers and producers to showcase their products via worldwide distribution. LeTonya is also a licensed attorney who practices in the areas of business law, federal labor & employment law, and entertainment law.

When there are strings attached to the conditions of love you can become a puppet. LeTonya has finally decided to cut the strings and live life on her own terms. Here is her narrative in her own words.

 

Tell us about your childhood.

 

I grew up with my mother, father, and sister. We were definitely lower-middle class, but I did not know that growing up. We were raised primarily with my father’s family and have a pretty close knit family community. It was a very competitive environment. My age group consisted of boys, so I was a tomboy and had few little girls as friends before middle school.

What was the narrative that was expressed to your growing up?
Love is conditional. Love is transactional. And you had to be a certain way or do a certain thing to be worthy of that love.

 

 

How did that narrative play out in your actions, thoughts or decisions?

 

 

This created dysfunctional thinking and outcomes in relationships. I often settled for things that were just unacceptable because I thought I had to compromise to be loved.

 

What was the catalyst or main event that caused you to change your narrative?

 

I found myself in a relationship that was not good for me. I realized that I was with this man because I wanted to be in a relationship and I ignored signs that we were not a good match. I looked away from certain things because I thought they did not affect me, that were. But in reality they were cues and clues to get moving.

 

 

What is your new narrative?

 

The new narrative is to place value on service, relationships, and accountability. The best way to live your purpose is to use what God has given you to improve the lives of others (within reason). When you realize that your gifts, talents, skills, and abilities were given to you to be a blessing in the world it makes life easier. My new relationship narrative is just be who God made you to be, flaws and all. Most importantly, be comfortable in where God has you and where he will take you because everyone can’t go. Nor is everyone meant to go. I’m holding myself accountable for decisions that I have made and for the outcomes from those decisions.

 

How does this new narrative show up in your life?

 

I am very honest about boundaries, drawing lines, and having open effective communication.

 

What advice would you give someone who wanted to change their narrative but didn’t know how?

 

Start with a pros and cons sheet. What are your pros and cons based on your own standards? Then write down what makes each a pro or con and why? Eventually, they will see their present narrative and develop ways to make the change.

 

Sometimes the drive to achieve is fueled by our pain. Sometimes life situations show us that we deserve more. How we think about and treat ourselves is a direct indication to others what we will and will not allow in our space. Creating healthy boundaries is important in any relationship. I know that LeTonya is thankful to God that He showed her her purpose in life but also that He showed her how to love on her own terms.

 

Thank you LeTonya for sharing your narrative!

 

Follow LeTonya via these social media platforms.

 

Facebook LeTonya Moore

 

Instagram @letonyamoore 

 

Twitter @letonyamoore or @oppcoach

 

 

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Change Your Narrative w/Lillianne Garcia: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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A daughter’s first glimpse into how healthy interactions with the opposite sex should exist starts with her father. Most women will tell you that you learn how to love and be loved in romantic relationships starting with how you see your daddy interact with your mommy. But what happens when your daddy suddenly abandons you? Can you ever recover from the void created? How we enter and exit romantic relationships is directly tied to our daddy triumphs or challenges. The narrative of Lillianne Garcia is one that highlights the challenges of daddy issues. But, as you will see in her narrative, she eventually found the resolve within herself to challenge the narrative her father created and create a new life for her and her family.

Lillianne Garcia is originally from Puerto Rico and currently resides in Keller, Texas. She is the owner of Lilly Garcia Real Estate Team and Your Pad Real Estate Services. Her area of expertise is in residential real estate and financial empowerment. Lillianne’s pain pushed her to change her narrative. Here is her story.

Tell us about your childhood.

I was the fourth of six children and my father abandoned us when I was six years old. I was daddy’s little girl so it was pretty devastating. My mom was never home because my father had a new family to take care of and did not support us so she worked three jobs. We were pretty much by ourselves, our dad gave us a couple hours every other weekend. My mom moved a few times and we finally moved in with her mother. I acted out so I was sent to live in a different city with my paternal grandmother for a little while. While there I was molested. After a few months my mom came to get me but I never told her what happened. My mom remarried and my stepfather and I did not get along so I hopped between my friend’s home, my dad’s and finally back to my paternal grandmother again because my father’s wife did not want me to stay with them. I had a boyfriend by then and he drove 2 hours every weekend to my grandmother’s to visit. One day my grandfather saw us kissing and sent me back with my mom. By age 16, I was pregnant and married the father of my two oldest daughters. I had no idea how to be a mom or a wife to this amazing man, all I did was work. A few months later my husband and I purchased our first house but never really established a home because I ”knew” he was also going to leave me or do something to hurt me, which in reality he never did. Five years later I left my home, leaving everything behind, including my daughters because I wanted to experience life…. A little while after I left I got involved with an abusive man who eventually became my husband. He put me down and physically and mentally abused me. I had five children by age 26. I divorced him and a series of events brought me to Texas but that’s a different story!

What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?

What was instilled in me was that I didn’t have a voice. I was not wanted and a mistake. That everyone who mattered was going to leave me. I was disposable and I believed that people would take advantage of me. I was a rebel.

How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?

I did not get close to people so that they could not hurt me by leaving – I left them first, I did not voice my opinion and kept it bottled inside. When I felt someone was judging me I would retract and disappear from their lives. I lived in depression, anxiety and walked on eggshells.

 

 

 

What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?
I married a second abusive man. This one was worst because to the outside world he was very sweet. I actually met him in church of all places. He put me down. He mocked me and my children and I was having thoughts of suicide. After many issues with him I stood up and defended myself but that brought on another set of issues and depression. The method I tried to get out of my previous abusive marriage was attempting to kill myself. I knew I was starting to feel the same way so I spoke to my son’s psychiatrist and told her I was thinking of harming myself. She suggested a Christian based program at the clinic she worked and I decided to attend right then and there.
What is the new narrative in your life?
I know I’m epic. I speak and think positively. I show up and I am valuable. I have excellent qualities. I am lovable. I love people and they love me back. I don’t need to run away. I am safe.
How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?
It shows up in the people I attract. The things I see happening in my life. The growth I’ve experienced as a person is at my own pace. And little by little I was ready to step out of my shell.
What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how to do it?
Get close to people that shine a bright light and learn from them. But do it at your pace. Change one thing at a time and believe that you matter. Even if you don’t believe it, begin by going through the motions you’ll get there! Understand how important it is to be intentional about thinking positively. If you have issues you need to deal with get help!! Taking action will catapult every other positive outcome. Start with what you feel comfortable with and grow as you go. Read personal development books, embrace your spirituality, and tell yourself how awesome you are!
Positive self talk will defeat negative self doubt no matter the situation. Lillianne was intentional about learning how to recover and rediscover herself after years of abuse, abandonment and low self esteem. It is important to ask for help in difficult times. For many asking for help is seen as a weakness. However, there is growth in vulnerability. Trust me I know what I am talking about. I have to make a conscious decision everyday to be vulnerable to whatever the day brings (insert any Brené Brown audiobook).
Lillianne’s narrative shows that she has grown by leaps and bounds. Hopefully, it has inspired you to grow as well.
Lillianne can be reached via the following social media platforms:

Change Your Narrative w/Danielle Boose: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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When you go through life feeling like the odds are not in your favor throwing in the towel on a better life seems to be the easy thing to do. Well, for Danielle Boose she made the active decision to take the towel, make a knot, and create a lifeline for herself and her children. Danielle grew up in Lynchburg, Virginia and now makes Virginia Beach, Virginia her home. She is the proud owner of Danielle Boose Coaching & Consulting and Achievable Greatness. Danielle is an expert in the areas of empowerment, educational services, business development and marketing. Danielle’s narrative has all of the makings of a made for tv movie. But as we take a closer look at her new reality we see that it far exceeds any scripted tv show.

 

 

Tell us about your childhood.

 

I grew up in a single parent home. My parents divorced when I was young. I struggled with a father who battled with issues of substance abuse, sexual abuse, teen pregnancy, and feelings of unworthiness.

 

 

What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?
Based on my experiences and negative behaviors, I’d end up in low income housing and not amount to much in life. I was going to be another statistic with a kid or kids that I could not provide for and the state would be taking care of my family.
How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?
I internalized my failure for many years and believed that I wasn’t worthy of positive experiences. I felt I was handed a bad deck of cards in life and things would always be challenging.
What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?
I gave birth to my daughter and wanted to give her a better life. She became my hope and gave me the desire to change my narrative.
What is the new narrative in your life?
I can do all things through Christ. I refuse to allow anyone or anything to keep me from reaching my goals and walking in my purpose.
How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?
God has been showing up and showing out in my life. I’m a warrior in every sense of the word. I have overcome sexual assault, teen pregnancy, and survived a heart attack that could’ve ended my life. Since my transition from seeing life as a blessing, I’ve managed two businesses, advocated for sexual assault, heart disease, and mental illness, written and published a bestselling book, “Life and Lyrics: Through Danielle’e Eyes” and shared my story with countless others empowering them to seize their inner warrior.
What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how to do it?
I’d encourage them to seek out others who are accomplishing their dreams despite their circumstances, pay attention to how they go about reaching their goals and mirror the healthy behaviors. Spend quiet time alone reflecting upon your purpose and passions and find opportunities daily to make actionable steps towards your goals.

 

See Tyler Perry couldn’t even write an ending like Danielle’s. The devil tried to keep her from her destiny but God stepped in and told him not today buddy, not today. And for that we are forever grateful that her star is allowed to shine.

 

 

Stay in touch with Danielle via social media.

 

Facebook Danielle Boose

Instagram @Achievablegreat

Twitter @DanielleBoose or @Achievablegreat

 

Change Your Narrative w/Rosanne Reid: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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As a mother of three fabulous masterpieces my heart goes out to tonight’s #ChangeYourNarrative participant. Our job as parents is to protect, love, and honor our children at all costs. But during Rosanne Reid’s childhood she was not protected, did not feel loved and her gifts were not honored. However, she did not let that stop her from sharing her purpose and passion with the world. Rosanne Reid was born and raised in Jamaica. She is the owner of BeeFree Marketing. Her mission is to help others birth and monetize their dreams through empowerment, speaking, lifestyle coaching and business consulting.

Tell us about your childhood.

I was born and raised in the Suburbs of St. Andrew, Jamaica, the first of 5 children for my parents. I grew up in a closed-sect church which is segregated from the rest of the world. My childhood was bittersweet and it is mostly littered with memories of the emotional and physical abuse I suffered during my childhood. I suffered from asthma and chronic allergies as a child in addition to the other issues I had such as a benign tumor on my arm which resulted in a near death experience at the age of 12. My home was one where my parents where in an emotionally abusive relationship. It was a difficult childhood as the church we were in also did not believe in the spiritual gifts such as those of prophecy, visions and dreams and the manifestation of speaking in tongues. And these gifts were prevalent in my life from childhood. Due to our religious beliefs, my father believed that my gifts were a sign of mental illness and as such I suffered severely from the punishments he gave me to punish this behavior out of me. One of the ways which my dad would punish me was by putting me in a dresser under the shelf where I would have to fold my body into a fetal position and then he would lock the door with a key. It was dark, dank and terrifying and as children we lived in fear because the slightest thing we did could warrant us getting a “cupboard” punishment as we referred to it. There were some pleasant times. Like playing the piano and playing with friends but it was all overshadowed by the drama and trauma of domestic abuse and lack of love that plagued our so called “Christian” family.

What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?

The narrative was that I was worthless, that my spirituals gifts were foolish and that I was mad. It was ingrained in me that I would be beaten by men just like my aunt, that women were inferior and good for nothing. I would always be poor. Members of the church said I was not good enough to marry a man with means. And that my gift of giving and loving others would mean I would always be poor because I love giving gifts to others and I believed that nothing good could ever come of my life.

How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?
I become reclusive and withdrew from society suffering from extremely low self-esteem and depression and I cried all the time for the hopelessness of my situation, I was always in pain especially in my heart it was shattered to shreds a gazillion of times. There was no love in our home and as such I started dating big men from the age of 14 looking for love and acceptance only to find that they only wanted me for my body. By my late teens and early twenties I had drawn the conclusion that all men were dogs and that I was refrained from ever trying to have an intimate relationship with anyone because no one could heal the deep pain to lived in my heart.
What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?
The mild nervous breakdown I had at the tender age of 17. I had done what everyone else said I should do and buried who I really truly was to please others and this is all I had to show for it. Something had to change and this was when I began the journey to healing, finding my truth and changing my narrative.
What is the new narrative in your life?
I now walk in my divine soul purpose, serving the world in empowering them to move from pain to purpose. I am creating an Exodus(movement) of healed people who will in turn heal others with their story. I am free to be who I was created and called to be, I am a queen, I am worthy of every dream I have ever had and ever dream that God has for me….. I am beautiful, fearfully and wonderful made. I am a queen walking royally in my calling.
How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?
It shows up in my life, ministry and business because I have created my ideal lifestyle and platform for the birthing of my dreams and visions by incorporating my soul purpose, life experiences, work experience, qualifications and divine calling. My mandate is to make sure that I do not repeat the cycle of abuse but rather change the world by being a better person especially in the lives of my children. Now that I have released my story publicly it is even more fulfilling to see that my new narrative is showing up the the lives of people worldwide.
What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how to do it?
Take some time to “be still” and get silent and centered by seeking God and getting his confirmation regarding your purpose here on earth. In order to change your narrative you MUST know your divine soul purpose. Make a list of the things that give you the most joy while doing them and aim to create your lifestyle strategically around these things and you will see your narrative begin to change. If after trying to do it by yourself you still feel confused and unsure of the path you should take consult with a lifestyle coach, mentor or person you admire in the vocation you desire to create a new narrative. Find people and peer groups who are going where you want to go. People who have the right mindset and live by the life and business morals, principles and practices you would like to see in your new narrative and take their advice and implement it in your unique style.
Tonight I will leave you with a poem that expresses the opening and closing acts of Rosanne’s narrative.
A Fork In the Road

Happiness seeping away,
I pray that I shall find it inside
and as the moonlight grows stronger each day
it’s backwards, inside out you might say.

where is daylight? is there an end?
My dilemma is hopeless, with no friends,
I’m thinking there won’t be an end.
Back to square one, restarting it all,

someone catch me, I’m about to fall.
Standing tall but stooping low
Why do I do this?
Stand tall, but no.

I stoop to the bottom of every life.
Not being noticed,
They do not strive
To trudge through darkness
and come out with a life.

Why do I do this,
I do not know.
Standing tall
but stooping low.

Who am I?
Where have I gone
On the road of life so troubled and worn.

Once there was a road that forked,
The bad the good.
I wished to pass to the other road,
For the one I traveled was littered

With broken dreams, and troubled souls.
Ripped up hearts and nothing grows
But agony and sorrow in abundance
I felt hopeless, That my fate was set.

Then a foot bridge I saw,
And crossed over and met
With the road of good, of dreams come true.
Sorrow no more, laughter grew.

Once there was a road that forked,
The bad, the good, be careful what you choose,
For it is just one simple decision, a flip of a coin
That will choose your fate and hold you hostage.

A footbridge you might see,
Choose it when you might,
Its your decision, a flip of a coin
That will cross you over to the life of joy.

To stay connected to Rosanne Reid please reach out to her via social media.
Twitter @RosanneReid

Change Your Narrative w/Siobhan Davenport: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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Tasha Cobb’s song Break Every Chain could be the soundtrack to Siobhan Howard Davenport’s narrative. The chains of dysfunction, addiction and low self-esteem that were passed down to her from her parents could have kept her bound to the narrative that tried to fester in her life. However, with a lifeline from her grandmother and a commitment to God, her narrative is one that can go down in history. Siobhan Howard Davenport is an author, speaker and philanthropist who specializes in the areas of marketing, poverty solutions and writing. Siobhan Howard Davenport was born in Washington, DC but raised in Lumberton, NC. She now resides in Potomac, Maryland.

Let’s take a look into how Siobhan’s life changed when someone made a commitment to God on her behalf.

Tell us about your childhood.

My paternal grandmother brought me home from the hospital because my parents were the dysfunctional trifecta – unwed teens, emotionally unstable and addicts. My grandmother became very ill when I was in kindergarten and had to be hospitalized. Unbeknownst to me, she promised God that if he saved her life then she would not only return to her Catholic church but she would raise me in the faith. While she recovered for a full year, I lived with my cousin, who had children around my age. Once I reunited with my grandmother, we became fully immersed in our church and I attended my parish school. At ten, I became an alter server, who assisted the priest and read from the lectern during the service. In my hometown, I had many older relatives, who formed a village in helping to raise me. I was a happy child, in spite of having my birth parents sporadically in my life. This was until my mother was tragically killed in a car accident when I was in fifth grade. My grandmother shielded me from their problems.

What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?

Our love of God was at the center of our lives. My grandmother instilled in me a love of people and to treat them as I would want to be treated. She led by example. Although we lived off her retirement pension and had limited resources, I would join my grandmother in her service to others by driving the elderly to their medical appointments, bringing food to the sick and shut-in, and providing clothes for those in need. At fourteen, I became a volunteer at my local hospital, where I was the only teen asked to work on the geriatric ward. I would commune with the elderly patients, feed, and read to them. Through my high school’s service curriculum, I worked with mentally and physically challenged children, who enriched my life and reinforced my commitment to serve others. Although I didn’t know it at the time, the one thing missing in my life was the love from my father. Therefore my service was selfish and was more about my need to feel loved.

How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?

My mantra was ‘Love me, please!’ and underscored all my interactions with others. I saw myself as small and insignificant because my earthly father did not show love for me. I forgot that I had a greater Father in heaven, who loved me unconditionally. I never learned anyone’s motivation before becoming their “best friend”. I thought that no one could possibly want what I have because I didn’t value my own gifts. I also didn’t appreciate the blessings of abundant love from family and true friends that God provided me. My efforts to reach out to my father included giving him money and buying gifts for Christmas and his birthday. These gestures were never returned and left me feeling used and distrustful.

What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?

During the final two years of my grandmother’s life, my husband and I relocated her from North Carolina to be near us in Maryland. She had advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease, as well as emphysema developed from a lifetime of smoking. When my grandmother was dying, I contacted my father to let him know that I had called in hospice for her care. His response was to ask me when did I plan to sell her home so we could split the profits. From that moment, I closed my heart to him and unknowingly to the world. I vowed never to speak to him again, which lasted until he died thirteen years later.

What is the new narrative in your life?

I have completed a two year journey of forgiveness for my father and for myself. I have released the feelings of inadequacy, pain, and anger. I no longer define myself as a fatherless daughter because I have a greater Father in heaven, who loves me unconditionally. I am free to love others openly and honestly without fear because the only love I truly need is from God.

How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?

I have learned to practice gratitude and appreciate all of my blessings both big and small. God has broken the generational chains of dysfunction, addiction, and low self-esteem in my life. I am truly blessed to have a loving husband, two beautiful children, strong friendships and a good career. I start my morning with praise. Now that I value myself as I child of God, I serve Him and others out of this spirit of wholeness. I pray before every decision and trust God to direct me onto the path He has prepared for me.

What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how to do it?

The beauty of creating a new narrative in your life is that it’s possible for anyone. I released 44 years of negativity that I didn’t realize I carried with me daily. First, I started with prayer and meditation. It was important to be authentic with myself although it was difficult. I had to admit that I was regularly attending church but I wasn’t practicing love towards my father. I harbored feelings of resentment and anger that were poisoning my relationships with those I love. Once I could admit that, I prayed for God to release me of these negative feelings. I committed to surrounding myself with positive messages and chose books and television programs that reflected this. I deepened my connections with like-minded friends to hold me accountable. And most importantly, I recommitted myself to God. I truly feel his love and acceptance of me, in spite of not having my birth parents in my life. I feel worthy and blessed just for being alive.

I must say as this #ChangeYourNarrative Blog Series continues the narratives keep getting better. Siobhan’s story impresses upon me the need for “praying grandmothers”. Our success and elevation is due to the sacrifices of those who love and nurture us. Thank God that her grandmother understood the notion that committing her life back to God would then break the generational curse. And that this commitment would eventually release Siobhan to live free of bondage. Even though the trifecta of teenage parents, emotional instability, and addiction tried to attack her youth, we know that the holy trinity changed her narrative.

Thank you Siobhan for sharing your narrative with us! Siobhan can reached via these social media platforms

Facebook Siobhan Davenport.

Twitter @siobhandauthor

Until next time. Sweet Dreams and Dream Sweetly. Change Your Narrative. Change Your Life

Change Your Narrative w/Lashana Williams: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

 

Lashana Jeans Outfit 1

There are times when life gets the best of us and we want to check out—for good. But then something pulls us back from the edge and requires us to hold on just a little while longer until our help comes and saves us from destruction. It is only right to start the week with the compelling narrative of Lashana Williams. Lashana knows what it is like to be close to losing it all. She also is a survivor who can show others how to stay in the game. Lashana is originally from Queens, New York and now resides in Atlanta, Georgia. She is the owner of Women’s Journey 2 Success, LLC.  Her mission is to help women discover the profession that is aligned to their passion and purpose.

Come with me as we ride through Lashana’s narrative to see the light that is on the other side of the pain.

Tell us about your childhood

At the age of 18 my mother – a single woman who was merely a child herself – gave birth to me without a plan as to how she would feed, clothe or raise me. My mother did the best she could and instilled in me the importance of education and independence. I worked hard in school to guarantee earning a high school diploma. My drive and determination was also evident in my professional life. Yes I had a professional life. I started working at the age of 13 (shhhh don’t tell anyone) and have been working ever since. And although we were poor I was fortunate to have been exposed to many things – some good and some not appropriate for a child at any age. However every experience in my childhood has shaped me into the woman I am today.

What was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where/how you grew up and the messages you received?

Growing up I battled with a diminished self-esteem. Because of the words of several adults – my mother’s friends and my grandfather – I believed I was destined for a life of poverty with no chance of ever achieving anything in life. In their eyes, I was never going to be anything more than a statistic, an uneducated teenage mom on welfare. Unfortunately after hearing this more times than I care to remember I started believing their words.

How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?

My self image was shattered, I believed I was never going to be a success and I never believed my accomplishments were enough. My self worth was shattered. I allowed the boys/men that I dated to treat me as if I were on the clearance rack. And my self confidence was non-existent. I never felt I was good enough or smart enough and suffered for years with the impostor syndrome.

What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?

When I contemplated suicide.

What is the new narrative in your life?

After writing my book, The Stranger Within: One Woman’s Journey to Self-Love, I was able to remove the limiting beliefs and walk in my truths. My truths now are: I am uniquely made in God’s image, I am a success (as defined by me), I am a Queen and should be treated as such and I am ENOUGH.

How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?

It shows up in the way I walk (I now strut my stuff with my head held high), in my actions (I am no longer afraid to be me), and in the way I live my life (I no longer seek approval or validation from others).

What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how to do it?

I would challenge them to list their limiting beliefs, think about where these beliefs came from (words of others or an event) and for each belief write what they know to be true. For example, when I did this exercise one of my beliefs were “I will never be a success” and my truths were “I earned a BS in accounting and an MBA in computer information systems” and “I was climbing the corporate ladder”. Everyday I would refer to this list until I was able to replace the beliefs with my truths.

LaShana’s narrative shows us that we have the key to unlock the limits on our life. There are times that others create a box to put us in but it is our job to find an escape route. The situations we are born into do not have to become our destiny. Our lives can take on many shapes and forms. We get to determine how the narrative ends. As women we must not dim our lights to make others feel better about themselves. Bask in the ambiance of your greatness!

To stay connected to Lashana please contact via social media

Facebook: Lashana Coaches

Instagram: @lashanacoaches

Twitter: @lashanacoaches

 

Change Your Narrative w/Kemi Sogunle: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

2.WM - Kemi Sogunle - Apr 2015

I believe in the saying that hurt people hurt people. And I also believe that healed people heal people. The narrative of Kemi Sogunle is one of hurt, healing, illusions, self-worth and understanding that life and death is truly in the tongue. Kemi Sogunle is a life/relationship coach and the owner of  Kemi Sogunle. Her mission is to transform lives through self-development and growth. Kemi grew up as a child in Lagos, Nigeria and currently resides in Maryland. Her story will shed light on the many dark areas of the journey to love and the possibility that your narrative can change for the better.

Tell us about your childhood

I grew up in a polygamous environment. Even though there was love in the home, something was not right and watching this created a thought that was an illusion of my reality. It affected my thought process leading me to sometimes make irrational decisions based on the hurt and pain I carried on the inside. I experienced a lot of verbal abuse and physical that at times was not important to others. I was the child who everyone thought would never amount to anything and negative words were constantly spoken over my life.

What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?

The hurtful words left me feeling horrible. It created a situation where I became a very emotional person. However, because I am now healed I am no longer emotional. But I was always determined to fight through it against all odds and believed that the words would not define who I am but I will use them as a catalyst to succeed in all I do.

How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?

I wrestled at times with making irrational decisions. One of which led to me been raped at  the age of 17 while attending a party. Thoughts are powerful and when I had to fight against negative thoughts, I sometimes ended up making the wrong choices as a way of escaping from my problems. I had mixed feelings about who I was back then and sometimes would question if my parents were my biological parents.

What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?

I eloped and got married and it turned out to be abusive to some extent. At the point where I had to fight for my life to survive, I made the decision that I could no longer take the abuse. A friend of mine called the women’s crisis center and I spoke with the cops about my situation. I voluntary decided to leave as I had gone from a size 12 to a size 2 and had lost 5 pints of blood.

What is the new narrative in your life?
During my separation and divorce, I found myself and connected back to God. As I healed and started learning to forgive myself and others. I connected with my God-given purpose to coach, speak and serve others and help them move from a painful past, find who they are, own their truth and live in/with purpose truthfully to become better not bitter. I also became a certified professional coach and an award-winning author. I continue to write books that will help others heal while speaking and also coaching. I recently founded a 501c3 nonprofit organization, Love Not Hurt, an organization which promotes self-development and building healthier relationships.
How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?
I am able to live in the moment and face reality in every area of my life. I share my message of healing and deliverance with others through speaking and I coach others daily to help them live truthfully, in the moment and build on healthier relationships.
What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how?
Take a look at everything you may have shoved under the rug and did not want to address. This will lead you to healing, finding the answers and making better decisions that will transform your life into becoming a better version of you and connecting to your God-given purpose.
Another powerful narrative. When I read Kemi’s narrative a famous quote by Frederick Douglass comes to mind “it is easier to raise strong children than to fix a broken man”. However, as Kemi shows us, with God all broken pieces can be put back together again. And when God fixes us we are stronger, wiser and satisfied with His workmanship. The best way to fix what is broken is to send it back to the manufacturer.  God is a better fixer than Olivia Pope!
To keep in touch with Kemi please follow her on social media
Instagram: @kemisogunle
Twitter: @kemisogunle