I believe in the saying that hurt people hurt people. And I also believe that healed people heal people. The narrative of Kemi Sogunle is one of hurt, healing, illusions, self-worth and understanding that life and death is truly in the tongue. Kemi Sogunle is a life/relationship coach and the owner of Kemi Sogunle. Her mission is to transform lives through self-development and growth. Kemi grew up as a child in Lagos, Nigeria and currently resides in Maryland. Her story will shed light on the many dark areas of the journey to love and the possibility that your narrative can change for the better.
Tell us about your childhood
I grew up in a polygamous environment. Even though there was love in the home, something was not right and watching this created a thought that was an illusion of my reality. It affected my thought process leading me to sometimes make irrational decisions based on the hurt and pain I carried on the inside. I experienced a lot of verbal abuse and physical that at times was not important to others. I was the child who everyone thought would never amount to anything and negative words were constantly spoken over my life.
What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?
The hurtful words left me feeling horrible. It created a situation where I became a very emotional person. However, because I am now healed I am no longer emotional. But I was always determined to fight through it against all odds and believed that the words would not define who I am but I will use them as a catalyst to succeed in all I do.
How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?
I wrestled at times with making irrational decisions. One of which led to me been raped at the age of 17 while attending a party. Thoughts are powerful and when I had to fight against negative thoughts, I sometimes ended up making the wrong choices as a way of escaping from my problems. I had mixed feelings about who I was back then and sometimes would question if my parents were my biological parents.
What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?
I eloped and got married and it turned out to be abusive to some extent. At the point where I had to fight for my life to survive, I made the decision that I could no longer take the abuse. A friend of mine called the women’s crisis center and I spoke with the cops about my situation. I voluntary decided to leave as I had gone from a size 12 to a size 2 and had lost 5 pints of blood.