Change Your Narrative w/Kemi Sogunle: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

2.WM - Kemi Sogunle - Apr 2015

I believe in the saying that hurt people hurt people. And I also believe that healed people heal people. The narrative of Kemi Sogunle is one of hurt, healing, illusions, self-worth and understanding that life and death is truly in the tongue. Kemi Sogunle is a life/relationship coach and the owner of  Kemi Sogunle. Her mission is to transform lives through self-development and growth. Kemi grew up as a child in Lagos, Nigeria and currently resides in Maryland. Her story will shed light on the many dark areas of the journey to love and the possibility that your narrative can change for the better.

Tell us about your childhood

I grew up in a polygamous environment. Even though there was love in the home, something was not right and watching this created a thought that was an illusion of my reality. It affected my thought process leading me to sometimes make irrational decisions based on the hurt and pain I carried on the inside. I experienced a lot of verbal abuse and physical that at times was not important to others. I was the child who everyone thought would never amount to anything and negative words were constantly spoken over my life.

What would you say was the narrative that was expressed to you based upon where you grew up, how you grew up and the messages you received?

The hurtful words left me feeling horrible. It created a situation where I became a very emotional person. However, because I am now healed I am no longer emotional. But I was always determined to fight through it against all odds and believed that the words would not define who I am but I will use them as a catalyst to succeed in all I do.

How did that narrative play out in your decisions, actions and feelings about yourself?

I wrestled at times with making irrational decisions. One of which led to me been raped at  the age of 17 while attending a party. Thoughts are powerful and when I had to fight against negative thoughts, I sometimes ended up making the wrong choices as a way of escaping from my problems. I had mixed feelings about who I was back then and sometimes would question if my parents were my biological parents.

What was the catalyst or main event that made you say that narrative needed to change?

I eloped and got married and it turned out to be abusive to some extent. At the point where I had to fight for my life to survive, I made the decision that I could no longer take the abuse. A friend of mine called the women’s crisis center and I spoke with the cops about my situation. I voluntary decided to leave as I had gone from a size 12 to a size 2 and had lost 5 pints of blood.

What is the new narrative in your life?
During my separation and divorce, I found myself and connected back to God. As I healed and started learning to forgive myself and others. I connected with my God-given purpose to coach, speak and serve others and help them move from a painful past, find who they are, own their truth and live in/with purpose truthfully to become better not bitter. I also became a certified professional coach and an award-winning author. I continue to write books that will help others heal while speaking and also coaching. I recently founded a 501c3 nonprofit organization, Love Not Hurt, an organization which promotes self-development and building healthier relationships.
How does this new narrative show up in your everyday life?
I am able to live in the moment and face reality in every area of my life. I share my message of healing and deliverance with others through speaking and I coach others daily to help them live truthfully, in the moment and build on healthier relationships.
What advice would you give someone who wanted to create a new narrative but didn’t know how?
Take a look at everything you may have shoved under the rug and did not want to address. This will lead you to healing, finding the answers and making better decisions that will transform your life into becoming a better version of you and connecting to your God-given purpose.
Another powerful narrative. When I read Kemi’s narrative a famous quote by Frederick Douglass comes to mind “it is easier to raise strong children than to fix a broken man”. However, as Kemi shows us, with God all broken pieces can be put back together again. And when God fixes us we are stronger, wiser and satisfied with His workmanship. The best way to fix what is broken is to send it back to the manufacturer.  God is a better fixer than Olivia Pope!
To keep in touch with Kemi please follow her on social media
Instagram: @kemisogunle
Twitter: @kemisogunle
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