As we march closer and closer to 2016 there are many things that come to mind that have assisted in the shaping, molding and breaking of who I am as I get closer to 40. However, my son and I both experienced a defining moment based on one potentially contentious co-parenting experience. For the purposes of respecting his privacy I won’t fully disclose the issue but, what I will say is that this moment defined me as a mother and ex-wife who showed spiritual maturity and him as a young man coming into his own and understanding that you do have choice even if no one explicitly tells you.
Our chance encounter with this “defining moment” taught both of us some things:
- You do have choice and voice. And if you don’t use it you will lose it.
- You are your best advocate.
- Ask for what you want, with no apologies attached to the ask.
- You are only responsible for giving people information. You are not responsible for how they interpret or respond to the information given.
- You don’t have to accept anything less than what you deserve. The moment you lower your standards for how you should be treated is the moment you lose yourself.
- You get to choose what emotions are evoked when receiving startling information. You can choose a different response.
- Adults should never put children in a position to make adult decisions.
- Not hurting other people by hurting yourself leads to the phrase “hurt people, hurt people.”
- People make mistakes, allow them the opportunity to correct the error and move on.
- You will only see a situation from your level of perspective. You have to commit yourself to elevating your level of perception if you want to understand people.
- Everyone has blindspots. Acknowledge them. Forgive yourself. Do Better.
So before you start making resolutions, declarations, vision boards, promises, goals and all the other things that come along with the new year. Decide today that you will first reflect on your Defining Moments of 2015, then proceed to making your life the best one you could ever live.
The most important part of your story is the dash (-) between your arrival and departure here on earth.
Make the dash mean something. Dream big. Leave your mark!