What Is That, Velvet? :Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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The clothes we wear are made of various fabrics and materials. We all have that smooth cat of an uncle who likes to wear linen suits and gator sandals. Or that auntie who loves silk/satin pajamas. Occasionally, we may give birth to a daughter who thinks glitter belongs on every stitch of clothing. We may even run across a great-aunt who is stuck in the 70’s with velvet covered furniture (it probably still has that thick plastic on it, but we LOVE her anyway).

Many times we worry more about the clothes we wear more than the fabric, material or cloth that a potential mate is cut from. BOOM! Yeah, that just happened! Let that marinate in ya spirit. Then we have the audacity to get mad when we figure out that we have been duped. People, we need to start checking the tags of potential suitors or sweet thangs. Is she a polyester imposter? Is he a velvet villain?  You need to find out the morals, ethics and standards of your potential boo thangs. Is it congruent with your brand? Is it the real thing or is it more like a knockoff Coach purse or some inauthentic Nike Airs? Will they stand the test of time? Or will they buckle like a pair of pumpkin seed shoes worn too long?

In the words of my mama, “let me get down to where you live and breath”.  The most important time to take stock of the fabric of a potential mate is before having children or walking down the aisle. Hear me clearly, parenting and making a baby are two totally different functions. One is for a lifetime, the other can at times only take 5 minutes. Before you decide to procreate consider many factors; the most important being “what type of cloth is your child’s potential family cut from?” 1000 thread count Egyptian sheets feel very different than 180 thread count sheets from Walmart, so you do the math on that one.

But guess what? If you chose the wrong type of cloth, it’s okay. Pick better next time. If you didn’t get glitter and stardust, choose different. Learn from the lesson and move on. Next time remember to stop and ask whatisthatvelvet

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