My Farewell Letter to the 3 F’s: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

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Dear Fat, Fried and False Calories:

This is my swan song, last call, and farewell letter to all things greasy, sugary and fattening . I cannot stand one more migraine or backache (sugar is an inflammatory), stomachache, or size change in my clothes. My moods, sleep and stress levels have deteriorated because of you. My skin has become lackluster because my water intake is not at it’s peak. You can no longer reside in my temple. This MagO7 that I am about to take tonight will help start the process. I will get back on this #operationslimgoodie train because this #operationeatwhateverthehellUwant bus ain’t working. Please keep all of your false promises, sneaky invasions and quiet whispers of  “go ahead Vanita, eat it, drink it, you will be okay”.

I am confessing that I no longer have the metabolism of my 25 year old former self. I am now a grown 39 year old woman with the battle scars, relacore (my word for fat) and children to prove it. So, to my fat, fried and false calories I say:

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Everyone should have a theme song. One of mine is Poison by BBD. When I hear this song my dance moves are so out cold you would think they wrote it about me. So to all my Mountain Moving Mamas out there I say:

“Never Trust a Big Butt and a Smile” cause it might be be wrapped up in a body shaper and we all know what the TRUTH looks like once it’s unwrapped!

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I want that “old thang” back. Summer Time Fine!

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