When I was about 5 or 6 years old I got in trouble for spitting on my next door neighbor. Yes, little sweet, chubby cheeked Nita spit on her friend. Now, let me explain why. The children (I don’t like the word “kids” because a “kid” is a baby goat) on my block were known for playing super heroes. I was the youngest in this particular age group, so I was always stuck with playing Isis. I wanted to be Wonder Woman. They wouldn’t let me be Wonder Woman, hence the spit flying out my mouth and onto Tamika Wimberly. Needless to say, I got a whoppin’ and I was banned from going to Qualisha Larkins birthday party (hey, we grew up in the late 70’s & early 80’s all children had original names). However, my mama failed to inform my grandma (Ms. Agee) that I was on a punishment and I ended up at the party anyway (score one for the sneaky kindergartener/first grader).
As us moms especially the ones of the single nature (either in theory or reality) get the babies together for the new school year let us remember that sometimes we DON’T need to be either Isis or Wonder Woman. We just need to be our authentic self; especially when dealing with our children. Here are the top 3 reasons why you need to tell your children you are NOT a Superhero:
- To stop setting up unrealistic expectations. Yes, it is okay to feed your children peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, carrots w/hummus and some juice or water for dinner. There are going to be times during the school year where you are just DOG tired and you really don’t feel like cooking. Don’t beat yourself up about not meal prepping like you see so many of your friends do on social media. Honey, sometimes that’s just for show. I am sure some of them have stopped for some McRibs one time or another (my 15 year old actually likes that mess). This allows you to be honest with your children and it may actually help you spend more time with them after school.
- To stop passing on the Superhero trait. When our children see us doing EVERYTHING besides taking care of ourselves, you have pretty much set up their DNA to do the same. Children pay attention to what is done, not what is said. There are some unhealthy traits (generational curses) that we pass on. This creates undue pressure on everyone involved. It’s better for our children to be involved in 1-3 quality activities during the school year. Why do we as parents sign them up for a gabillion activities, then get upset when they either quit or we have to do a bunch of driving all over the country? This is one way we pass on the Superhero trait. My 6 year old will get 2 consistent activities for the entire school year (sewing and gymnastics). One will help her gain a new skill and start a business. The other will assist her in burning off some energy before she gets home. It’s a win-win situation for everybody!
- To prepare them for a life without you. If we do everything for our children, then we have failed as parents. I believe our main purpose is to nurture, love, guide and be a healthy example of a productive, contributing citizen of this world. The formative years are meant to shape our children’s wings so that they can SOAR once they are gently pushed
kickedout of the nest. We clip their wings when we adhere to the Wonder Woman syndrome.
Now, you may be thinking, hmmmm this blog is kind of short. And you are right. The first week of school is always filled with adjustments. And this blog is no exception. In the words of Karen White I’m Not Your Superwoman.