You ‘Bout That Life? How To Live a Solution-Focused Life: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

Have you ever just replayed a problem or issue over, and over, and over again in your head? Have your ever vented, fussed and cussed about the same thing over a series of days? If you could get the ear of just one more person, then they too could get mad, upset and angry about the information or situation you shared!

Well, let me set the record straight, you will stay stuck in time if you don’t decide to lead a Solution-Focused Life. Here are the top 5 ways to live a Solution-Focused Life:

  1. Deal with your emotions, then the facts. Many times when we are put or  we put ourselves in a situation that is not to our liking, we immediately go to our most familiar emotions: anger, sadness, frustration, or irritability. These emotions are all a state of being. We need to immediately deal with the emotions and our triggers, then immediately deal with the facts. We get so caught up in our feelings and then we stay there. Never moving. Never transforming. Never growing. When you deal with the facts of situations and take out the emotion, we have a calmer response and can see solutions appear simply by responding to facts and not emotions.
  2. Make a different choice. We have more power over our thoughts, mouth and reactions than we give ourselves credit for. It’s a cop out when we say “I had no choice in the matter” or “I had to go off on them”. No,we do have choice; however, many of us passively, make the decision not to exercise that choice. Just like you can choose a different emotion, you can make a different choice to focus on the solution and not the problem.
  3. Keep a journal. I have a saying that I use often: “whatever comes up, comes out; whatever comes out, comes up”. This simply means when we continue to suppress the yucky stuff in our lives, it eventually comes up and out. In order to function at our optimal level we must deal with our stuff. If not, we end up asking people to fix things that they did not break. Journaling allows you the chance to get out everything you are dealing with in your past, present or future on paper. It provides you the space and time to reflect on situations and come up with your own solutions.
  4. More listening, less talking. Listen to what your heart and spirit is saying in situations before you open up your mouth to share it with other people. Examine both to see where this disdain, anger or displeasure is really coming from. We have to constantly be around positive people who gently challenge us to look at problems as opportunities and not obstacles. We need people who WON’T feed into our “pity party” or “sad soiree”. But who WILL feed into our spirit with wise words and help us re-examine our actions.
  5. Get an Accountability Partner. An Accountability Partner’s sole purpose is to keep you solution-focused. Their job is to facilitate the process of YOU finding your own solutions. They help your reframe the obstacles into opportunities and solutions. Their job is not to cover up the hurt, stroke your ego, or help your find more pain in the problem. This person must be one to give you factual truth (straight, no chaser).

So, now the question is will you choose different? It’s that simple. There is a solution in every problem and you have all you need in front, behind, beside and underneath you to solve it. Wanna know how I know? Because God would never have allowed the problem to manifest if He didn’t think you had the tools to conquer it. Work your faith, it’s really the answer to most of life’s problems.

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