The 40/40 Club: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

Good Evening! Good People! I want to have a long relationship with sleep right now; but first before I go rock-a-bye baby I wanted to share with you my thoughts on turning 40 years-old in January (don’t clap, just throw money…just kidding…but not really).  I have been looking forward to turning 40 since I was 30.

My 20’s were my time to make dumb mistakes, have children, get married, get divorced, party, buy a house, sale a house, start college, stop college, start a job, quit a job, pack up and move 3 hours away to finish school with children in tow, not know your purpose and focus on things that I didn’t know would not matter 10 years later.

My 30’s were the time to work on my purpose, explore who I was, process what happened in my 20’s, start graduate school, become a MSW, be a better mom, get married, get divorced, learn lessons, get closer to God, know my purpose, start to pursue my passions, take calculated risks, and start to focus on the things that WILL matter 10 years later.

So, tonight’s Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed are dedicated to the people, places and things I pray God brings to me in my 40’s:

  1. Fulfillment of Promises. God promised me certain things many years ago. And because I know that He is a keeper of promises and never fails, I know He will make good on what He told me and showed me. This blog is a manifestation of His promise, So Yummy Products a manifestation, Gifted Visions Unlimited a manifestation, and my current career a manifestation. You see where I am going with this. This NOT to brag on me, but to brag on GOD. He makes good on His Word no matter how long or arduous the process. For all of you on the cusp of turning 40; hold on there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
  2. Fulfillment of Purpose. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Our manufacturer doesn’t even have a blueprint to create junk. We are all made for purpose and impact. I am so excited about my purpose that sometimes I get on my own nerves talking to myself about it LOL. But with great purpose comes great responsibility and power. My path to my 20’s and 30’s was created to make sure that I could stay where God took me. I had to learn some hard lessons, eat some humble pie and get my pride slapped to sleep (figuratively, if you know me, you know I love that saying) in order to walk in my purpose.
  3. The Gift of Travel. Due to my own failure to protect and be a good steward of  my finances, I have not been able to travel with or without my children like I want to. Yes, in my 20’s and 30’s I made some horrible financial decisions due to a being financially illiterate, impulsive, irresponsible or just because certain decisions are an act of survival and I was forced to make them. That limited my travel opportunities. Well, “c’mon 40 with ya funky self” because I promised myself that I would bring in my 40’s somewhere besides Michigan or hopefully the United States and I mean it. Even though my children live in a very diverse community; it’s very different when you immerse yourself in communities that are different. Besides, we get along better when we go out-of-town. In the words of one of my closest friend’s mother “If money is the only issue, that’s not really the issue”.
  4. A Significant Other. Now let me put this disclaimer out here. I am in no way, shape or form actively on a “manhunt”. However, if the good Lord decides to be so kind as to send me a helpmate, I am not complaining. I have learned so much about myself and relationships being on this earth for 39 years. I have fully examined myself, my motives, my mistakes, and my shortcomings. And I have also fully examined my worth, my qualities, my heart, my successes and my standard for having a God ordained, healthy, meaningful and sustainable long-term relationship. My grandmother aka Ms. Agee the Original OG asked me “are you gonna be like Elizabeth Taylor?” I told her “naw girlfriend, 3rd times a charm”. That’s my story and I am so sticking to it.
  5. A Successful Business. I am at a place in my life where I do not want to work solely for someone else for the rest of my life. Being at a corporation or organization for 40 years and receiving a pendant or watch is no longer on my list of things to do. I like stability, but I am learning that in my 40’s I want to take more calculated risks that benefit my purpose, my children and the world. I have so many ideas that have laid dormant for so long. But I now understand why they had to. I was not mature or experienced enough to handle them in the manner intended.
  6. Continued Peace of Mind. In the words of my favorite Hip Hop Soul artist, MJB, “I need a peace of mind, a peace of mind, I need a good night sleep…”. Peace of mind can’t, shan’t, won’t be bought. At 39 years old, there is a certain peace I now have that I cannot really explain. When I say I ain’t worried ’bout nuthin’ I mean it. The control freak in me has finally realized that I cannot worry about things that are outside my locust of control.

This list is by no means exhaustive or in order of priority. I just wrote them how I thought of them. Everyone I talk to that is over 40 says the exact same thing. You become comfortable in your skin, you understand who and what are of the utmost importance in your life. Most importantly, you understand the true definition of living life to the fullest.

This quote that I recently found about the significance of the number 40 exemplifies why I wake up excited about January 20th 2016 (again, I am just putting it out there, don’t everybody rush to pre-order me a gift, bwahahaha):

“The number forty is used by God to represent a period of testing or judgment (the length of time necessary to accomplish some major part of Gods plan in his dealings with various portions of mankind).”  The Significance of the Number 40

Some resources to make sure your 40’s are just as fabulous as you are:

Michelle Singletary

Black Hedge Fund Group

I Don’t Do Clubs


Black Girl Travel

Black Wealth Network

6 Books That Will Transform Your Mindset and Grow Your Business

And last, but certainly not least please support me check out So Yummy Products at

If you are a small/minority business owner please leave your business name and description in the comments section. I want the world to see the amazing things we are doing out here. Support!

Thanks for coming out, God Bless and Goodnight. May the 40’s be with you!


9 thoughts on “The 40/40 Club: Not So Random Thoughts Before Bed

  1. Great insight and plan for your 40’s! I am 38 and though I’m not “dreading” 40, I just haven’t gotten “THERE” yet, like it appears you have. I am still one of the “young guys” in my office. I have already done the business thing, and because of my particular experience (because results may vary), I’m reserved to staying in my 9-5, so I can spend more time with my kids. Well, to tell the truth, it’s more like a 6-10, 12-3, 9:30-1AM!!! But still, it affords me the financial stability and work-life balance I need to take care of my children, their various needs and my home! I am not a single parent, technically, but I do take care of about 85-90% of the household, childcare and extracurricular activity duties. So I’m so busy, I can barely think, let alone, think about ME! You’ve definitely given me some things to think about, and some things to consider. I’ll try not to let them slide too much longer, because I definitely want to be ready for the 40/40 club…don’t want to be left at the door!


    1. Thanks for reading Willie! Your website was one of my motivations for doing this 🙂 Once you get “THERE” enjoy the ride. There is nothing like it. You are blessed to have a career that affords you the opportunity to hang with your children, provide financially and still have time for other things. But NEVER forget about yourself! You matter.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sis! I absolutely love the not so random thoughts. They are always encouraging, motivating and thought provoking. May God grant you every desire of your heart as you delight yourself in him. So Godly proud.


  3. I absolutely loved it! Love your #4 too! I’m so looking forward to sharing my 40th year with so many amazing women like you!


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